Toxic Friendships: 5 Signs to Watch Out For and What to Do About Them

We all want friendships that lift us up, make us feel valued, and bring joy into our lives. But sometimes, a friendship that once seemed amazing can turn toxic—and it’s not always easy to recognize when that’s happening. Toxic behavior can be subtle, and it often leaves us second-guessing ourselves, wondering if we’re overreacting. But here’s the truth: if something feels off, it probably is. Let’s talk about some key signs of toxic behavior in friendships and how you can handle it if you recognize these red flags.

Sign #1: It’s Always About Them

Does your friend always seem to turn the conversation back to themselves, no matter what you’re talking about? If you’re sharing something important, and they either change the subject or try to one-up your story, that’s a red flag. A healthy friendship is a two-way street—both people should feel heard and valued. If you constantly feel like your needs don’t matter, it’s time to take a step back.

What You Can Do: Try redirecting the conversation: “I’d really appreciate if we could talk about this a bit longer. It’s important to me.” If they still don’t listen, it’s time to evaluate if this friendship is truly serving you.

Sign #2: They Disrespect Your Boundaries

Boundaries are crucial for any healthy relationship. If you’ve set a boundary—like asking for more space or letting them know you can’t be available 24/7—and they ignore it, that’s a problem. Toxic friends will often try to push your limits because they’re more concerned with what they want than respecting you.

What You Can Do: Stand firm with your boundaries. Remember, you’re allowed to say “no” without explaining yourself. If they keep overstepping, it might be time to create more distance.

Sign #3: They’re Always Negative or Judgmental

We all have bad days, but if your friend is constantly negative, judgmental, or making you feel bad about yourself, that’s toxic behavior. Whether it’s harsh criticism, backhanded compliments, or making you feel like you’re not good enough, this behavior is draining and damaging to your self-esteem.

What You Can Do: Let them know how their negativity affects you: “I’ve noticed a lot of negativity lately, and it’s been really draining for me. Can we try to focus on more positive things?” If they dismiss your feelings or continue being judgmental, it’s time to protect your peace.

Sign #4: They Make You Feel Guilty for Having Other Friends

Does your friend get jealous or upset when you spend time with other people? Do they make you feel guilty for wanting a life outside of your friendship with them? This behavior is a major red flag—it shows possessiveness and insecurity. Healthy friendships allow space for other relationships and activities.

What You Can Do: Remind them gently: “I care about you, but it’s important for me to have other friendships too.” If they keep making you feel guilty, it’s a sign that their insecurity is becoming toxic to your well-being.

Sign #5: You Feel Drained After Spending Time with Them

The biggest red flag of all? How you feel after spending time with them. If you leave every interaction feeling emotionally drained, anxious, or just plain exhausted, it’s a sign that the friendship may be toxic. Friendships should uplift you, not leave you feeling worse.

What You Can Do: Take note of how you feel after each interaction. If you’re consistently feeling drained, consider putting some distance between you and that friend. You deserve to be around people who make you feel good about yourself.

Final Thoughts: Trust Your Gut

Toxic behavior in friendships can sneak up on you, but deep down, you always know when something isn’t right. If you’re constantly questioning whether your friend truly cares about you, it’s worth paying attention to those feelings. Healthy friendships are built on mutual respect, understanding, and support—anything less simply isn’t worth your energy.

Remember, you’re allowed to put yourself first, even if it means stepping away from a toxic friendship. It’s better to have fewer friends who truly care for you than to surround yourself with people who drain your happiness. Protect your peace, set boundaries, and don’t be afraid to walk away when a friendship turns toxic.

Have you experienced any of these signs in your friendships?